Learning and Leaning into Love Languages

Love doves in Festus, MO

Do you ever find yourself feeling frustrated about a relationship in your life that is not jiving? Maybe it is with a coworker, friend, sibling or partner? You do not feel understood and there is an internal tension brewing in your brain about how the two of you interact. You may even find yourself ruminating on feeling disappointed about how conversations play out. 

Whenever I find my thoughts gravitating toward irritation and unfulfillment with others, I try to remind myself of the uniqueness we each have, and how we each perceive and give love.  

Have you heard about “love languages?”

“The Five Love Languages” is a book written by Gary Chapman. I first read this book about 15 years ago and have since read it again, and listened to the audio book many times. I have found the concepts to be helpful in all arenas of my life. 

If you are not aware of Chapman’s notions of “love languages,” they are five categories of the most common ways people both interpret love from others, as well as the natural ways we present/give our love to others. 

Chapman’s five love languages are:

Words of Affirmation

Quality Time

Receiving Gifts

Acts of Service

Physical Touch

Despite our potential biased opinion surrounding the five categories above, there is no right or wrong language. 

Chapman’s intention is to create awareness about ourselves, with the expectations we have of others, and how they make us feel; as well as how other people translate our communication to feel loved.

Whenever I am feeling unaligned with someone in my professional or personal world, I try to become curious.

Sometimes I need to shift my perspective to the other person’s feelings to reassess how my actions and behaviors may be landing with them; and/or, I try to tune into myself to better communicate my expectations of them and specifically ask for what I need, from them, to feel better. 

I have applied this to several domains in my life. Romantically, with my family members (even itty-bitty kiddos) and coworkers. 

As someone who has served in many Human Resource manager roles, having written and conducted countless reviews, I have found learning coworkers’ love languages to be monumental in building effective teamwork, while creating fulfilling emotional and tangible results. 

There are many free resources online and at our local library to learn more about the concept of love languages.

As you mentally process positive and negative emotions within you, as it relates to your interactions with others, I hope an education around love languages can help enhance your connections. 

If you would like to connect within our community on social media, please feel free to share your love language, or how these notions have helped you, in the comments on my post. 

As always, please share this link/website with others who would find these ideas valuable. 

Enjoy today.

P.S. I took the picture of these love doves at my home in Festus, MO.

P.P.S. This is a non-paid endorsement for Gary Chapman, his many beneficial books and useful theories.

P.P.S.S. Check out this book, and many more, at our fantastic Festus Public Library:

Our exploration of the Festus Public Library

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